WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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