do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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