i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm sobbing to NWA
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
