Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
