I wanna bring you to show and tell
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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