Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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