it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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