i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
