I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
