Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
