you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize