so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So much rum. So many feels.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
