why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
