I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
