What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i will never coherently bang her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
