hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
