Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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