honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I believe in your delicious
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
