this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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