I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
