just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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