dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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