I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
