I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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