fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
too bad you live with your parents still
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
