So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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