he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
