Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
