Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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