are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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