Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
