I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
