Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
