I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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