I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
