gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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