Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
being pregnant is like rehab
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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