Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
