This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
