I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
