Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
