I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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