i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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