I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
