Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize