Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
