Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
