I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
