how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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