Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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