ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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