one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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