Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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