Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
