Christians are straight up FREAKS
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
