It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize