Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
