their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
