mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize