i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
