Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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