She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
