Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
