How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize