his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
