Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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