yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
