I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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