dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
